Real Girl Lij

Be featured in my Love Songs video!

Hi, my friends. I would LOVE to feature you in my music video for my new song, Love Songs. I'm interested in real-life loving (PG) moments between couples -- diversity desired and celebrated (race, ethnicity, nationality, immigration status, gender identity, religion, sexual orientation, age, etc). It can be vintage or brand new, but I would prefer that it look candid. Be creative, have fun, and mostly, just capture what real life love (again, PG please) looks like for you (vacation footage, commitment…

Devin.  Podcast

I just released a new song for the first time in six years. Six. (Contextual clue: My son is six).

It's a really big deal for me. These *six* years in Indiana have regularly left me with the feeling of being in the witness protection program. I love the people and the moments that fill my days, but I've been fragmented. Seeking wholeness, but struggling here to center this thing, this person, singer, songwriter, that has always been who I am. Always.

The night I dropped Love Songs,

(Dropped it, like a hot

I just released a new song!  Podcast

I have so much to tell you. And I will. Soon!

For now, I just released a new single last night (Valentine's Night) for the first time in years and it feels so, so good. I just had to share it with you.

Listen, download, share, too, if you will. Much more to come soon.

Lij


 

For love.

Landon came to me this morning and said, "Mommy, do you love me?" I said, "I love everyone." He said, Mommy, do you love me?" I quoted the commandment to love my neighbor as myself. He said, "Mommy, do you love me?" I talked about the worth and dignity of all people.

Is that what he was asking? Is that the question at hand? Is that the question at heart?

I remember, as a child, wondering why Jesus "wept" at the news of Lazarus's death. Shouldn't he be all cool like "Don't worry -- I got this!"?

Life happened…

Woke up this mornin' with my mind...

This time last year, I was on a bus. The 21st Century Freedom Ride, more specifically. I intended to write about it as soon as I got home. Heck (must stop saying this word -- Landon has started to use it!), I intended to write while on the bus. But, (insert excuses).

Thinking about this tonight, that a year has gone by and I've blogged about all kinds of other things, but not even touched this -- it occurred to me that there must be a deeper reason. So I've been sitting here. Living in those moments. Trying…

Circle.

Speaking of history. 
This morning I woke up to a message from a person I was in school with in kindergarten (1985-86, baby) and haven't seen since that read "thank you... you were one of the only ones who treated me nice." (You're lovely, friend. You deserved that then and you deserve it now.)

I'm not sharing this to boast. It scared me more than anything. Our impact on one another is far more lasting than any of us may know or hope.

Who have I hurt?
I'm thirty-four and some change and I've moved that many…

Dirt.

Have been thinking a lot lately about how we discredit entire seasons, years, sometimes even decades, of our lives simply because a door closed, the path took us somewhere other than where we thought it would, or because of the imperfections of others, of ourselves. Like not being everything is the same as being nothing.

Or maybe this is just me.

I've got a special knack for decimating ambiguity. I love all. And I'm quite comfortable with nothing. So in tangible life, when I could, or in how I framed it in my…

Cinematic.

Two blogs in one week after none in months? Of course.

I finally caved and hired a (phenomenal, brilliant -- she'll someday be hiring me!) assistant yesterday after (I don't know how long) of juggling really beautiful, meaningful, don't-drop-that! pieces of life and my soul honestly feels like a feather today. I don't have to carry it alone. (I keep re-reading that sentence.) She has no idea what that means to me.

I spent some time this summer with a stunning human, a former Black Panther…

Old girl, new girl, same girl.

It's been a while. A good while. A great while. A hard while. A beautiful while. A complex while. (Life, eh?)
I stumbled across my old MySpace blog (yes - MySpace), and it filled me with sappy nostalgia. And since I still have no idea what to say to you now, here . . . (how do you sum up evolution?) . . . I'll share something quite old with you as a place-holder. Below the old blog (below), I'll share a home video (selfie video - is that a category?), an acoustic external-computer-mic recording…

The asking.

Still waters run deep.

I've always thought that was such a beautiful analogy. About other folks. Me? Not quiet. Not mysterious. While, I like to hope anyway, deep, my mental/emotional being is at least 40% shark.

But I can feign still here. So pretend with me. (Cueing some mood music might help). 
My silence in this strange little forum is not a reflection of a failure to think of you (often) nor is it a manifestation of fewer stunning moments and revelation-inducing encounters with life. I continue to…

Us.

With both lament and hope, my heart is heavy and full. This reprise is for all those who've chosen to engage and all those who never had a choice . . . Thinking of so many of you tonight.

In solidarity,

The rest.

I can feel one of these shared moments of expression coming on like some folks can feel a storm rollin' through in their bones, long before the visible action begins. Without my willing them to, word-made-images begin piecing themselves together and, in an effort to keep up, I rush to the keyboard and start typing.  (My songs, too, are often born this way . . . in dreams, in the shower - I've skipped conditioner in more than one moment like this).

It's been a while. The days have nearly sequentially become…

Skin.

Is it human nature, or is it just mine, to cling to the known of the present moment though lived lesson after lived lesson after lived lesson assures that what lies ahead is always, always worth letting go for?

The life I'm in love with today was far outside of my imagination or hopes just a year ago, residing more in the realm of my worst fears. Indeed, it did begin as a nightmare. Yet today, the beauty tempts me to grip it tightly and and stay right here. But when I'm quiet and I'm honest, I can hear my…

Attention.

Picking up rocks. Looking underneath.

There are a lot of them. One on top of the other. 
This seems to be my life-work, of late.


It does leave me with less to say. 
My questions are primarily silent though asked and asked and asked. 

Books. 
Piano. 
People. 
Work. 
Rocks. 
Rocks. 
Rocks. 

Life. 

Celebrating Labor Day with attention to the work of the soul and mind as well as the body. 

You matter,
L
Image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/davidyuweb/4446734924/

On paper.

I got served divorce papers today. Rather, some other woman did and whoever the messenger was mistakenly left the notice on my doorstep (as if this is my hobby) instead of hers. It isn't exactly something I want to take over to her house and say "Excuse me, but I think this belongs to you." Though I might be exactly the person that should do that. I might be. But I'm not sure I'm that brave.

Life is happening all around us. Hers may feel like it is falling apart (though it is equally possible that she is…

Everything.

Sitting here at my antique dining table, which was just yesterday covered in art and protest signs, I have so much to say and so little capacity to formulate the words. 
My heartbeat feels slow today, like it is trying to get this beautiful life to match the pace. 
Too often, I try to speed it up. 
Why? 
What is life if not the here and now? 
I repent. 
And bring my being to attention with a call to order that life is flying by. Flying. 
Isn't it sacred?! All of it?
There is a little boy who is…

Just look.

I am speechless.



I typed those words and then sat here staring at them, wondering why I'm attempting to write a blog if this is true. 
Because, I am. Speechless.
Almost daily, I wonder if it is possible for life to become more beautiful. And almost daily, it does. 
All of the other thoughts and feelings and understandings and questions and ideas and blood racing through my veins right now won't be easily captured on this or any other page, but I am typing on purpose, speechless though I am. 
Because…

Neighborhood.

The bigger my world gets, the smaller it becomes.

Tonight, my living room will be brimming with beauty and my heart (and my house) will be bursting at the seams as I visit with friends and world-changers from NIYA, Rwanda, and Gaza all while bringing my students and some other folks from my community along for the ride.

What does a girl say in moments like this?

Hopefully I'll come up with something by 7pm. For now, I'll sit in this reverent, grateful calm-before-the-dream-making-storm silence.

From here with…

Legacy.

"Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathies with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences." ~Susan B. Anthony

My boss couldn't have known how much I needed this, or perhaps she did, when she bequeathed this framed quote…

Get up, stand up. (And get down.)

Tonight, I'm invoking the right I established back in my leopard-print-world-travelin'-roller-skating re-introduction to this whole blog thing to post anything I want simply because I wanna.

My dear gal pal of over a decade breezed through this week on her move from DC back to LA (the origination of our friendship). There were so many full-circle moments in our late-into-night-early-into-the-morning conversations and though I was so sad to see her drive away this morning, hours later than she had intended…